Very few terms in family law generate more confusion — or more conflict — than parental alienation. Parents, lawyers, and even mental health professionals often use the term loosely, applying it to any situation in which a child resists or refuses contact with a parent after separation. But not every case of a child pulling away from a parent is parental alienation. Sometimes it is something quite different: child estrangement.

Understanding the distinction matters enormously. It affects how the Family Court of Australia interprets a child's behaviour, how expert evidence is weighed, and ultimately what parenting orders are made.

This article explains both concepts clearly — what they mean, how they differ, and how the Family Court approaches them.

What Is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation describes a process in which one parent — consciously or unconsciously — undermines a child's relationship with the other parent, to the point where the child begins to resist or reject that parent without legitimate cause.

The key features typically include:

The child expresses strongly negative views about the rejected parent, often using adult language or reasoning
The child's criticisms are exaggerated, one-sided, or factually inconsistent
The child shows little or no ambivalence — the rejected parent is all-bad, the favoured parent is all-good
The child's resistance to contact cannot be explained by the rejected parent's own behaviour
The child reflexively defends the favoured parent and aligns with their narrative

The term was first coined by psychiatrist Richard Gardner in the 1980s and remains contested in research literature. Parental alienation is not a formal psychiatric diagnosis in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. However, the behaviours it describes — and their impact on children — are clinically real and well-documented.

In Australian family law, the concept is recognised. Courts can and do make findings about alienating behaviour, and it is a factor courts weigh when determining parenting arrangements

What Is Child Estrangement?

Child estrangement looks superficially similar — a child who resists or refuses contact with a parent — but the cause is fundamentally different.

In estrangement, the child's withdrawal is a reasonable response to the rejected parent's own behaviour. That behaviour might include:

A history of family violence or coercive control
Emotional unavailability, harsh parenting, or rejection of the child
Substance abuse that made the child feel unsafe or uncared for
Neglect, or chronic failure to prioritise the child's needs
A new relationship or family that displaced the child

The child has not been manipulated into withdrawing. They are protecting themselves — or processing real hurt — in response to genuine experiences.

This distinction is critical because **the appropriate response differs completely.** Reunification therapy and pressure to restore contact may be appropriate in alienation cases. In estrangement cases, the same approach can re-expose a child to harm and cause lasting psychological damage.

Why the Distinction Is So Difficult to Make
In practice, distinguishing between alienation and estrangement is among the most clinically challenging tasks in forensic child psychiatry. There are several reasons for this.
First, they can coexist. A parent may engage in alienating behaviours and also exhibit genuinely poor parenting that contributes to the child's withdrawal. Apportioning the relative weight of each is rarely straightforward.
**Second, children are not reliable narrators.** Children caught in high-conflict separations often absorb the anxieties, narratives, and language of the parent they live with — not necessarily because they are being deliberately manipulated, but because children are exquisitely sensitive to parental emotional states. Distinguishing a child who has been coached from one who has simply internalised a household atmosphere requires careful, structured assessment.

Third, each parent has an incentive to frame the situation in self-serving terms. The rejected parent typically asserts alienation. The favoured parent typically asserts estrangement — citing the other parent's behaviour as the cause. An experienced assessor must look beyond both parties' accounts to the child's own presentation, developmental history, and observed behaviour.

Fourth, confirmation bias is a real risk. Assessors who arrive at a case with strong preconceptions about alienation — in either direction — may interpret ambiguous data selectively. Independent, structured clinical assessment is essential.

How the Family Court of Australia Approaches This

The Family Court does not use the term "parental alienation" as a diagnosis. Instead, it makes findings about conduct — specifically, whether a parent's behaviour has unjustifiably undermined the child's relationship with the other parent. Under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), the court is required to consider:

The benefit to the child of having a meaningful relationship with both parents
The need to protect the child from harm, including family violence and abuse
The views of the child (weighted for age and maturity)
The willingness of each parent to facilitate the child's relationship with the other

Where a court finds that a parent has engaged in alienating conduct, it is treated seriously. It can result in orders for reunification, changes to primary care arrangements, or, in extreme cases, a transfer of residence.

However, the court is equally vigilant about the risks of compelling contact in cases of genuine estrangement. The 2023 amendments to the Family Law Act — which removed the presumption of equal shared parental responsibility — reflected a broader shift towards giving greater weight to child safety and wellbeing, and away from contact-at-all-costs thinking.

The 2025 changes (effective 10 June 2025) further strengthened the framework for recognising economic, financial, and coercive abuse — forms of family violence that often underpin genuine estrangement cases.

The Role of Independent Psychiatric Assessment

Because the distinction between alienation and estrangement is so clinically complex, the Family Court frequently relies on independent expert evidence. This may come in the form of:

A family report prepared by a court-appointed family consultant
A Single Expert Report (SER) from an independent psychiatrist or psychologist
Expert evidence provided by a treating clinician (though this carries limitations due to the treating relationship)

A robust forensic assessment in these cases typically involves:

Individual interviews with each parent
Direct observation of the child with each parent
Collateral information from schools, treating practitioners, and relevant documents
Structured assessment tools where appropriate
A developmental and attachment-informed framework

The goal is not to take sides, but to help the court understand what is actually driving the child's behaviour — and what response will genuinely serve the child's long-term wellbeing.

Questions Parents Often Ask

“My ex tells our children negative things about me. Is that parental alienation?”

It may be a contributing factor, but isolated instances of poor communication in co-parenting do not constitute alienation. The clinical threshold involves a pattern of behaviour that systematically undermines the child's relationship with you, and evidence that the child's own attitudes and behaviour have been materially affected.

“My child says they don't want to see their other parent. Should I enforce contact?“

This depends entirely on why the child is resisting. A family consultant or independent expert can help clarify whether the child's resistance reflects genuine harm, anxiety, or the influence of the household they primarily live in. Decisions about contact should not be made unilaterally.

“Can alienation be proven in court?”

Courts do not make diagnoses. They make findings about conduct and its impact on the child. An independent expert can provide evidence about the child's psychological presentation and the factors that appear to be driving it, which the court can then weigh alongside other evidence.

“What is the difference between a family report and a psychiatric assessment?”

A family report is typically prepared by a court-appointed family consultant — usually a social worker or psychologist — and focuses on parenting capacity and the child's needs. A psychiatric assessment goes further into mental health, diagnostic questions, risk factors, and complex psychological presentations. In high-conflict matters involving allegations of serious mental illness, family violence, or complex childhood presentations, the court may seek both.

A Note on Language

It is worth acknowledging that "parental alienation" is a contested term. Some critics argue it has historically been weaponised to dismiss genuine disclosures of family violence — particularly by women and children. This is a legitimate concern, and a careful A Note on Language

It is worth acknowledging that "parental alienation" is a contested term. Some critics argue it has been historically weaponised to dismiss genuine disclosures of family violence — particularly by women and children. This is a legitimate concern, and a careful assessor takes it seriously.

The answer, however, is not to abandon the construct entirely. Children can be manipulated into rejecting a loving parent, which is a form of harm. The answer is rigorous, impartial clinical assessment that takes the child's experience seriously — neither dismissing allegations reflexively nor accepting them uncritically. The assessor takes it seriously.

The answer, however, is not to abandon the construct entirely. Children can be manipulated into rejecting a loving parent, and that is a form of harm. The answer is rigorous, impartial clinical assessment that takes the child's own experience seriously — neither dismissing allegations reflexively, nor accepting them uncritically.

Key Takeaways

1. Parental alienation involves a child rejecting a parent primarily due to manipulation or influence by the other parent, without legitimate cause

2. Child estrangement involves a child withdrawing from a parent in response to that parent's own harmful or inadequate behaviour

3. The distinction is clinically complex and requires careful, independent assessment

4. The Family Court of Australia considers both concepts and weighs them against the child's safety and best interests

5. Independent psychiatric assessment can provide courts with the expert evidence needed to make well-informed parenting orders

Dr Antonio Simonelli is a consultant forensic psychiatrist based in Glebe, Sydney, with specialist expertise in family court assessments, parenting capacity evaluations, and psychiatric reports for the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. He holds Fellowship of the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists (FRANZCP).

This article is intended for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal or psychiatric advice. If you are involved in family law proceedings, seek advice from a qualified legal practitioner and, where appropriate, an independent mental health professional.

Parental Alienation vs Child Estrangement: What's the Difference — and Why Does It Matter in the Family Court? 8 min read